find my way (back to you)
by K-Wolfy
Summary: A boy deeply loves his mother but he feels empty, someone is missing and believes that he was to find his father to find out the truth and fix himself in the process, and maybe his mother can be happy too... / I'll be there to fall into the dark, to chase your heart, no distance could ever tear us apart, there's nothing that I wouldn't do, I'll find my way back to you...
1. Going to Give Everything I Have

He wasn't so sure at first. He didn't know if he really wanted to tell someone everything he's concealed from students and teachers in order to protect his mother. His mother was his whole world, he was only happy when she was happy. It worked vice versa.

"Mikael." He looked up from his hands that sat on his lap.

The man that sat opposite was the registered school provided therapist. Mikael wasn't ordered to go see him, he wanted to. He wanted to speak to someone about what he's been holding.

"You asked your tutor to set this meeting up and you're just sat there in silence. Are you sure you want to be here?" His voice was soft and sentimental, he was here to help young teenagers and a lot of them don't want to be in this room with him. But Mikael did.

"I'm just trying to find the right words." Mikael wasn't so good with words, he had to plan it in his head first. He didn't want to say the wrong thing ever and accidentally emotionally hurt someone.

He never wanted that. "Deep breath, say whatever comes to mind."

Mikael did just that, after a deep breath and after a few short seconds he found his voice. "I want to see my father."

"Why can't you?" The therapist proved gently. "Are your parents divorced?" He added.

Mikael shook his head. "I've never met him."

"Have you asked your mother about him at all?" The therapist queried.

Mikael shook his head again. "No, I haven't. I've never mentioned him to my mother, but I know when she thinks of him. She gets really sad and watches the news."

"If you ever want to see or speak to your father then you will have to ask your mother about him." Mikael knew that but he didn't want to see those sad eyes on his mother again, he hated every second of it.

"I don't want to make her cry or get sad."

The therapist looked at him, a gentle smile grew across his face. "I hope you'll be able to find your father but be cautious, there may be a reason that he isn't in your life."

Mikael's jaw clenched. "You think he hurt my mother?"

He sighed. "No, I don't but that scenario is very common in this area. I've had many cases of domestic abuse from the father to the mother, and the kids."

The therapist straightened up in his seat. "You're a very smart boy, your tutor gave me your file. Your grades are amazing, you do all your work, every piece of homework is in on time or earlier. All I'm saying is that you have a very bright future ahead of you, don't stray away from it."

Mikael nodded, taking in every word that he said but he was more than sure that there is more to the story about his mother and his father. "Thank you for your time."

"I have more time with you if you would like to talk about anything else that may be bothering you? Like your lack of friends, or the fact that you sneak out of school during your lunch period but return for the rest of your classes." Mikael stayed completely silent as that came out. He didn't think anyone would notice that he didn't have any friends, he thought he didn't need any as he had his mother.

She was his best friend and that's all he thought he needed. As for leaving for lunch, he would go the diner into town where his mother works. She is the head waitress, practically the manager, of the diner and he was always welcome by the other waiters and waitresses ever since he could remember. They would sit with him on their break and talk to him, help him with his homework and give him his favourite milkshakes.

Maybe, the therapist was right, that he did need friends but right now his main focus was his father. He doesn't even know where to start. He doesn't even know his name. He was thinking he could do what happens in those sappy movies where the woman and the man reunite in a passionate embrace. He wanted his family to be whole.

He doesn't want his mother to find out, but he does need his name, what he looks like and his age. Mikael wasn't so sure that he could get all of that without his mother finding out or checking the history on their shared computer in the living room.

He wasn't sure why this was so important to him, but it was.

What if it all made things worse and he was an asshole that hurt his mother? What if it was his fantasy he's played for years in his head? What if his father is a really good guy but his mother was just too afraid? Or something happened? So many of these scenarios played in his head and one of them were true.

But even he was too afraid of hurting his mother by asking her for the truth.

He read once that the truth doesn't always make everything right but what if it did?

What if finding his father didn't fuck everything up but fixed everything? Fixed him? Fixed his mother?

"Mikael?" He was suddenly taken out of his head and back to devasting reality.

His brow furrowed. "Sorry?"

"Are you listening?" The therapist asked, he looked concerned and that he cared but this is his job and he might even care but even he himself didn't know what was going on inside his head.

He blinked, readjusting himself and clearing his throat. "Yes, sorry. Can I have another appointment for next week?"

The therapist nodded and closed the folder on his lap. "I'll write one up and inform your tutor when your next appointment will be, she will tell you in person or make a call home." Mikael hoped that his tutor wouldn't call home because then his mother would know that he made the choice to see am in-school therapist and he didn't want to have that conversation right now.

He just knew that his reasons would make her sad and worry even more about him. He can see that she doubts herself a lot, but she is and always will be an amazing mother to him. Mikael realises that he needs to tell her that more often.

"Thank you." Mikael got up, slinging his bag around his shoulders and headed out the door and into the hallway.

It was the end of the school day, he has missed the buses and his mother was working so he headed out the corridor and out the main entranceway to the school. He started taking the long way home, he needed the time to listen to his music and think about how he was going to go about finding his father.

He thought deeply as he walked home. He thought about how his mother gets sad, cries silently and watches the news which isn't even a happy outlet, so he's confused by that. When he was younger and had nightmares, he would sleep in his mother's bed, clinging to her body and her safety. She was so strong, and he was so scared, he truly does love and appreciate every little thing she did and does for him on the daily.

He does remember a deep burgundy wooden box underneath her bed when they placed hide and seek together. He tried to open it once, but it was locked. Mikael vaguely remembers asking her about it and she shrugged it off, only saying it was just jewellery and knickknacks. He's not sure she was telling the whole truth now.

There was something in that box of hers, but he would need to find that key to open the damned box first.

He would be able to locate the key first while she's on shift right now, but he wouldn't want to risk being caught and opening it as soon as he found it. She has a night shift tomorrow, so he'll do it then, it's the weekend after all. He's allowed to stay up late on Fridays and Saturdays.

He walked up the front door and unlocked it, closing it behind him, he ditched his shoes and went straight up to his bedroom. He dropped his bag and jacket on his bed and headed out.

Walking to his mother's bedroom, his hand grasped the handle and he took a deep breath. _Now or never, _he thought and turned the handle, opening the door to her bedroom. He took a step in and was reminded of her warmth. He thought of where she would put and hide a key.

He dropped to the floor and checked under her bed. Only the door, a few dust bunnies and an odd sock long forgotten. Mikael shot up and went to her vanity, looking through all the little draws that held her rings, necklaces and hair ties. It wasn't there.

He moved towards her dresser, checking those draws thoroughly. He felt entirely awkward as he did but he was disappointed.

No key.

Mikael walked into her ensuite bathroom and checked the cabinet, it held pain killers, tampons, toothpaste and no key anywhere.

He sighed, defeated. "This is hopeless." He turned and froze, staring at her full-length mirror and more importantly what was hanging on the edge of it.

It was in front of him and in plain sight. Mikael smiled and shook his head, she was smart. He walked over to the mirror to take it but paused. If he took it and she knew it was gone, she would know that she took it.

He sighed, at least he knew where exactly it was, and it wasn't going anywhere.

He left her bedroom and closed the door behind him, his phone buzzed his pocket. He pulled out his phone and looked at the notification and smiled.

**_Mum: I'll be home in 5 minutes, I picked you up your fav snack from AJ's!_**

He loved her, so much.

Mikael walked back to his bedroom and changed out of his school clothes and got into more comfortable ones to lounge around in while he waited for his mum to get home. He walked downstairs and sat on the sofa, turning on the TV to Criminal Minds, it was always on before she got home.

The front door opened, and he could smell his favourite treat a mile away. He smiled brightly as his mother came in still dressed in her waitress outfit. She smiled lovingly at her son. "Hi, sweetheart, how was school?"

She walked to the dining table and set her bags down before turning to him. "Normal, how was work?"

She laughed, taking his treat from out the bag. "Every day is different and always interesting, today, this couple showed up and they looked like a totally normal couple, after they ordered, they started to argue and then practically started to have sex on the table."

He blinked and cocked his head, he was glad he was not there to witness that, but he grinned when Kiera handed over bag that held his favourite dessert, double chocolate chip cookie straight out the oven. "Enjoy, honey. I had to fight Mina over it."

Face stuffed with cookie, he thanked her. "Love you, mama." Kiera looked at him and smiled happily, he looked just like he did when he was just under knee height. So cute and adorable, he still is but now she must add handsome or he gets embarrassed. Still cute.

He made her happy, and vice versa.

But there was something or rather someone missing from this picture, and he needed to find out why - and was it because of him?


	2. Think of Love, Think of Pain?

It was the weekend, Saturday morning and Mikael lay in his bed on his side facing the window opposite his bedroom door, he lay awake and listening to the sounds his mother was making in the living room and kitchen. She was getting ready to go to work for her early shift at the diner and he was more than ready to go forth with his own mission for today.

What is in that box of hers that he's never seen her open? All things that remind her of his father pushed away gathering dust under lock and key? Or something else entirely?

The front door closed, and he shot up out of his bed and walked out of his bedroom, down to the living room and looked out the window to see if she actually went. She did. He sighed and went back up the stairs and stared at his mother's bedroom.

_Do it now or you never will._

Mikael told himself and turned the doorknob to her bedroom, he entered and went down to the floor, pulling the burgundy box from under her bed and set it on her bed. He got up and walked around her bed and to her full-length mirror.

The key was still there, hanging from a chain that could easily be mistaken for a necklace.

He took the key from the mirror, turning to the bed and sat upon the soft and fluffy quilt. Mikael sat cross legged with key in hand and box in front of him, he took a deep breath before turning the box on its back and slipped the key inside the lock.

He turned it and with a click, it unlocked before him.

He lifted the lid and stared at whats inside: a few movie tickets to Titanic, 28 Days Later and Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, a silver ring with a dark blue opal, a necklace that held a golden half moon and four polaroid photographs, he picked them up and one by one he looked at them and read what she wrote under them.

One, a photo of his mother, Kiera, she was younger, vibrant and beautiful as a cheerleader.

**Me on the first day of my last year**

Two, a photo of his mother, another girl and two guys at a drive-in theatre.

**Me, Blaze, Silver and Shadow at the Neptune Drive-In Theatre **

Three, a photo of his mother, Kiera, and a guy dancing together at a school dance.

**Me and Shadow at the Prom.**

Four, a photo of his mother, Kiera, at a birthday, kissing a guy's cheek as he holds her.

**Me at Shadow's 19****th ****Birthday Party**

He quickly stood up and took a photo, walking to her mirror. He flipped the photo so that it was visible in the mirror as he compared his looks to Kiera and the guy that she was seemingly dating in high school. His eyes and jawline matched his, he knew that wasn't really anything to go on or an actual DNA test.

Shadow.

That guy could very well be his father, but he needed to find him first.

Mikael needed to understand what happened between them all those years ago, why did he up and leave his mother when it looked like they were so in love? High school sweethearts as it were but something definitely happened otherwise his mother wouldn't weep when she thought he was asleep or distracted by his phone or music.

How could she look at him and not see Shadow? Not be saddened by the similarity of the two of them even if he hurt her so? She is so much stronger than he was.

Mikael turned away from the mirror and put everything back in her burgundy box, locking it back up and slipping it back under his mothers' bed. He just needed to find out where he 'father' was now, who he is and if he's…available to meet. God, he felt insane even just thinking about meeting him.

He thought about how that meeting would even go. 'Um, hi, remember dating Kiera in high school? Well, she got pregnant and I'm your son, nice to meet you!' Mikael groaned, he wasn't going to do that. This wasn't an overnight affair, he needed time to find out everything he needed to.

Thank the Gods for the internet.

**1\. ****Find out where his mother went to high school.**

**2\. ****Find out her graduation year and the yearbook that went with it (hopefully online or that she has one at home).**

**3\. ****Find his father's full name and search for where he is now, who he is as a person.**

For what comes after he had no idea, perhaps it would be something to talk to his therapist about after all he was still just a young teenager, what did he know of the right or wrong of what to do?

Mikael left and closed her bedroom door behind him, as nerves hit him as he overthought of situations and scenarios of what could happen if he pried further into his hopeful dreams to become a lovely picturesque family. His mother and father truly in love, happy and loved him all the same.

He then thought of his mother, what would her reaction be to him snooping around her belongings, seeking out his father and what if he showed up? Would she be happy, or would it break her heart enough more? He didn't want to hurt his mother so.

He loved her and all he ever wanted for her was to be happy.

Mikael was torn between his love for his mother and the hole in his heart that was yearning for his father, but he will do what he has to do without hurting his mother.

He walked down the stairs and into the living room, going to the bookcase in search for her high school yearbook and prayed that she still had it laying around somewhere in plain sight as she hid her key.

There was no book labelled 'yearbook' on its binding anywhere on the shelf, he sighed but his eyes caught a frayed sleeve on a hard book called 'The Midnight Lie' but the book through the frays didn't hold the same title. Hidden with a cloak.

He pulled the book from the shelf and opened it, it was her yearbook. He flipped through the pages and found the pictures of every student, their names and their chosen quotes underneath it.

Mikael smiled as he found his mother's photo, name and quote.

**Kiera the Lone Wolf**

**"****Okay. Fine, but I'm going to complain the whole time."**

That sounds like her, he thought but he searched for Shadow's photo and name. He had to flick through a page or two, but he found him.

**Shadow the Hedgehog**

**"****What my girl said."**

_His girl_, he loved her. He loved his mother. Now, he had his name, he can begin his true search for his father via Google, of course.

He heard a car pull into the driveway and he quickly closed the book, putting it right back onto the bookcase shelf. He turned on the TV and sat down leisurely on the sofa as Kiera opened the front door and walked through, smiling as she saw him up and awake.

"Hi, sweetie, what did you do this morning?" She took her coat off and hung it up on the coat rack.

Mikael smiled at her. "Just catching up on Supernatural since there's like 50 seasons."

Kiera shook her head and chuckled. "I just started watching Grimm again on Netflix." She walked over to him after putting her bag away, still in her diner uniform she sat down beside him.

He leant his head back and looked at his mother, the feeling of guilt bubbling in the bottom of his stomach. "When's your next day off?"

She looked at him in thought. "I don't know, I'll have to check my roster tomorrow. Why?"

"I thought we could do something together out of the house." Mikael suggested as he leant his chin on her shoulder as he looked up at her.

Kiera smiled lovingly at her son. "That sounds fun, I'll book a Friday or Monday off so we can have a long weekend together if you find us something to do."

He grinned. "On it."

He thought treating his mother would balance his inner moral scales from what he is doing behind her back but he can't stop now, he's getting so close to finding his father.


	3. But Now I Got A Bellyache

Mikael slept on the whole 'finding who his father was and is' for a couple of days. He went to school as normal, did his work, came straight home and did his homework but it was always nagging at him. Calling out to him to just go on the computer at home, at school or even at the local library to just type in his father's name, find him and learn about him.

So, he did. On a Thursday after school he left and went straight to his local library. He sat down at a computer, pulling his notepad out and wrote down _his _name.

**Shadow the Hedgehog**

Mikael didn't need his mother's old high school pictures of him, he knew exactly what he looked like back then. As for what he looked like now, he imagined he looked older, taller and maybe wiser as people seemed to say.

He typed in the high school his father and mother went to. Everything was online and, on the internet, now, even old pictures and yearbooks for people's nostalgia possibly. Mikael found the website to the high school, found the tab for 'yearbooks' and found his mother's graduating class. It was a downloadable PDF, so he took a look, flipping through the pages and went through every athletic team photo and his father didn't make any appearance.

He did find him on the 'most likely to' page.

**Shadow the Hedgehog**

**Most likely to become a police officer.**

Mikael's brow furrowed, that made no sense to him, but it was a small lead if that is where his father's path leads him. His eyes scanned the screen and found his mother.

**Kiera the Lone Wolf**

**Most likely to become an artist.**

The corner of his mouth lifted, he remembered when he was seven or eight years old and painting in the garden with his mother in the summer. It helped channel whatever he was feeling at the time after they just moved here. Mikael then frowned as he realised that she doesn't paint anymore.

He looked at the bottom right corner of the computer screen and checked the date, he'll get his mother art equipment for her birthday. That leaves him a couple of months to save up his pocket money.

Mikael sighed; it was a hell of a long shot, but he gave it a go. He opened a new window and typed into Google:

**Police Officer Shadow the Hedgehog**

He pressed search, crossed his fingers and hoped for the best. Plenty of articles came up and he clicked on the link to the most recent one. It was a YouTube clip on a previous broadcast of a police conference. Mikael plugged in his earphone, watched and listened to the new clip from last week.

**'****Thanks to the combining efforts of the Mobius Police Department and the Mobius Fire Department, Detective Shadow the Hedgehog and Lieutenant Silver the Hedgehog worked together to put an end to an ongoing series of arsons.'**

His father was a detective to the Mobius Police Department, he watched as his father stood by the Captain at the conference as he drowned out what they were saying. He knew where to find his father now.

He wrote everything he needed down in his notepad along with the address to the police precinct. It was insane to even consider going all the way into the city and walk straight into the police station and ask…well, what the hell was he even going to ask?

'Oh, hey, officer, is Detective Shadow the Hedgehog available to talk to? Oh? Who am I? His son he has never met or might not even heard of!'

Mikael groaned and 'x'd out of all the opened windows and logged off the computer, he checked his phone and saw he got a message from his mother.

**_Mum: I just got home, where are you?_**

He quickly texted back.

**_Me: Just finished homework at the library, coming home now. 10 minutes tops._**

He got an 'okay' back, shoved his notepad in his backpack, zipped it up and slung it over his shoulders and headed back home. Again, with more answers he found out the more questions popped up. It was never ending.

Mikael walked through the door to his house and the smell of beautifully cooked campfire stew. An old family recipe that is pure perfection on a really bad day. He smiled at his mother.

He walked over to her. "Hi."

Kiera smiled over her shoulder when she glanced back at him. "Hey, sweetheart, finished all your work at the library?"

Mikael nodded and hummed his response, walking up the behind her and hugging her from behind, resting his head on her shoulder. "Yeah, I got it all done so now I'm free to do what I want for the weekend."

"That's good, so, are you going to tell me what you're up to?"

Mikael blinked and heart was in his stomach. "What?"

Kiera turned and looked at him. "Your school called me and said you set up an appointment with the school counsellor or therapist person."

The let go of the breath he was holding. "I'm sorry for not telling you but I needed to think some things through."

"And I can't help you?" Kiera asked with a soft note in her voice, he knew it all to well. She was sad and it was because of him, he hated that.

"School stuff." He thought of on the spot.

She raised an eyebrow. "School stuff?"

"Y-yeah, like people at school." Mikael said.

Kiera looked more concerned now. "Are other students bullying you? I'll call into work tomorrow and I'll come straight down to the school and-"

Mikael put his hands on her shoulders. "I'm okay. No bullying. I just needed to talk about what I was feeling. For me."

Kiera understood what he meant now as it was something that was his, he's strong and independent in his own right. He wants to deal with this on his own, tackle it head on. "Okay." She relented.

Mikael smiled at her. "You're a great mum."

It was after dinner and he was sat on the sofa watching television as his mother was sat in the armchair reading a new book, she got at the charity shop a while ago. Mikael looked over at his mother, considering of broaching the subject of his father. For all of his conscious memory, he didn't ask her about him, but he knew she thought about him. She would go into silent spots, watch the news and stay in her bedroom for a while to cry. He heard her crying in her bedroom in the middle of the night once when he got up for a glass of water.

Apparently, she felt his eyes on her. "Yes?" she asked.

"I want to ask you something."

Kiera looked up from her book, meeting his gaze. She smiled. "What is it, sweetheart?"

Mikael held his breath before he said this. Now or never, he reminded himself. "What was my father like?"

That one question might as well be a slap in the face to her. It hurt her. "Your…your father?"

Mikael nodded stiffly.

Kiera took a deep breath and closed her book on her lap. "What would you like to know?"

"What kind of person he was? Was he kind or anything like that?"

She played with the ends of her hair. "He was kind and gentle, well, with me anyway. He spoke volumes with his actions rather than with his words. He was no Shakespeare." Sounds familiar. He swore that he could see her smile just a little as she thought about him but that smile faded quickly before his eyes.

That was the end of that, she went back to reading her book.

Mikael decided then and there that he was going to do it. He was going to catch a bus into the city tomorrow after school and he was going meet his father.


	4. Mr Sandman, Bring Me a Dream

Kiera was wiping down the tables at AJ's diner, her mind elsewhere when her co-worker Mina softly nudged her shoulder. She jumped a bit, startled and sighed. "Sorry." She said.

Mina rubbed her shoulder. "You okay? You were wiping the hell out of that table."

"I got a few things on my mind." Kiera admitted leaning forward and straightening the menu's in the holder.

Mina didn't have to guest what it was, she's been working alongside Kiera long enough to know what gets her in and out of a funk. "Mikael things?"

Kiera nodded. "He's seeing a school therapist and he asked me about his father."

"You mean the father of your sweet, gentle kid you've never mentioned to anyone including me?" Mina asked with a hand on her hip.

She bit her lip. "Maybe."

"Such a secretive little wolf, aren't you?"

Kiera glared playfully at her. "Mikael has never asked about him before. I think he's missing that male role model in his life."

"Or his actual father."

She sighed walking away from Mina and going around the bar to wipe it down. "He doesn't know." Kiera confessed in a small voice.

Mina paused. "_He_ as in _the father_ doesn't know he's a father?"

"Yes…" Kiera forced out.

"Oh, my _god_."

* * *

This is a bad idea.

This _is _a bad god damn idea.

Mikael just stepped off the bus in the city centre. He had the address on Google Maps and followed the directions to the police station. With every step, he thought about his mother and how she would feel about him doing this. Her reaction to him doing this. Just hurt, disappointment and sadness and all because of him.

He was too much of a coward to tell her.

He sighed and before he knew it, he was outside the police station, staring up at the sign above the large wooden doors. Mikael walked up the steps, he could feel his heart beating in his chest, he pushed past the door and walked towards the front door.

The woman looked up from her keyboard to look at him. "How can I help you, young man?"

Mikael stuttered. "U-uh, is Detective Shadow the Hedgehog in?"

The woman raised her eyebrows at him. "Business or personal?" she asked.

He gulped. "Personal."

"I can send a message for him to meet you down here in the seating area behind you." She told him.

Mikael nodded. "Yeah, that'll be good."

"Name?"

He panicked and gave the first name he thought of. "Lorenzo the Lone Wolf." His mother's brother and his uncle.

The woman picked up the phone, dialled a number and proceeded to give whoever on the other end the message. He couldn't hear the voice on the other end. She put the phone down. "Detective Hedgehog will be down momentarily."

"Sorry, how long is that?"

The woman smiled a little at him. "Five minutes or less. You can wait for him over there." She motioned to the seated waiting area.

Mikael nodded, mouthed a thank you and walked over. He sat down, staring at his hands. His leg started to bounce as the seconds slowly turned into minutes, he was chocked full of nerves and anxiety.

"I shouldn't have done this." He whispered to himself, he got up and he saw him. His father walking down the stairs. He was definitely tall and dark, walked with purpose and unwavering strength.

Mikael was frozen as he watched his father walk to the front desk. He had to leave, go home, never speak of this again and even pray for forgiveness a little for his mother. He started to move towards the big wooden doors when the woman behind the front desk motioned towards him.

His father turned and locked eyes with him. He was right, he did look like his father, but he has his mother's eyes and her wolf nature. His own golden eyes met Shadow's red ones, they widened as it clicked in his father's mind but before he could anything.

Mikael bolted.

Straight out of the police station, he remembered the way he came from the bus station but as he turned a corner he was pushed against a wall and stopped. He met his father's eyes once more.

"What is your name?" Shadow asked slowly releasing the hold on Mikael. His red eyes scanned the lad almost frantically.

He straightened. "My name is Mikael the Lone Wolf."

He saw that Shadow recognised that name the second he said it, there was pain he doesn't know about with that name. On both sides looks like. Mikael continued. "My mother is Kiera the Lone Wolf, but I think you knew that the second you saw me."

Shadow's jaw clenched. "How old are you?"

"Fifteen, sixteen in May."

He suspected that the dates fit in his mind as Shadow took a step back, dragging a hand down his face. "I have a son…" He started to mutter, he looked at Mikael.

"Kiera, is she?" _Alive? _Shadow couldn't bare to add but was relieved when Mikael nodded.

Mikael figured it out, well, at least he thought he did. "She didn't tell you she was pregnant. You didn't know…" He needed to leave, he needed to go home. This was a bad idea. He can't do this for a fifteen-year-old boy no matter how strong.

Mikael took his chance when Shadow was still reeling with this information and legged it around the corner. Shadow quickly followed and watched as the bus doors closed but he got where that bus was heading. He couldn't do anything right now, he needed to process, talk to his best friend and so he headed back to the police station.

The woman behind the desk looked up. "Everything okay with the young boy?"

Shadow nodded, walking past her. "Yeah, he's my son." He said stalking his way back upstairs and to his office.

Shadow closed the door to his office, closing the blinds, sitting down he dialled a number on his phone. Thankfully, it was answered. The voice of his best friend was on the other line. "Silver." He addressed first.

"Shadow, you sound stressed."

He sighed. "You have no idea. Do you remember…Kiera?"

"I assume you're joking."

Shadow frowned. "What?"

"Of course, I bloody remember Kiera. The girl of dreams, love of your life, the girl you were going to propose to and marry before-"

"Before she was ripped away from me for god knows what reason…but I think I figured out the reason?"

"What? How?"

"I have a son. Her son. He found me."

"Holy shit."

"My sentiments exactly…his name is Mikael, he's fifteen years old."

"Something happened all those years ago, you need to find Kiera and find out the truth, Shadow. You have a kid, time to be a father and take responsibility."

"Says the guy with three kids already, you make it sound so easy."

"Yours is full grown. Mine are still in diapers." Another thing hit him, he missed everything. He missed being a father. The birth, first crawl, first steps, first words…first everything. That made him angry but more so sad, he wanted that especially with her. It happened; he was just wasn't there.

"That doesn't make me feel better." Shadow sighed deeply.

"You gotta line on how to find your girl?"

He remembered the bus Mikael got on. "Yeah, I have an idea. It won't take long."

"Keep me updated. She was my friend too, especially Blaze's."

"I will." Shadow ended the call and began his search. He had her name, his name and the town. It was only a matter of time now.

* * *

Mikael was thankful that his mother was working a late shift tonight, he finally got home and dropped his backpack on his bedroom floor and was now pacing the length of his bedroom. He wasn't sure what he was going to do next, there isn't much he could do. The only thing was to tell his mother what he did but he held back. He was afraid.

Maybe, this wasn't going to be what he wanted. A happy mother and father together or even co-parenting together but this could be his worst mistake. Why didn't he just ask her?

He was an idiot.


	5. Rockabye Baby, Don't You Cry

It was Monday morning, well, kind of, it was 11:38am and Mikael's eyes kept flicking back and forth to the clock on the wall of his science classroom. He couldn't stop thinking about what he did, he found his father and now his father knew about him. Why didn't she tell him? Why did this bring more questions than answers?

He can picture the look on his mother's face when she finds out what he did behind her back, she wouldn't be angry with him, she never was. She would look at him with sadness and disappoint swirling in her eyes as she would ask him 'why?' and it breaks his heart and he would do such a thing to her when she has given him _everything_.

Her heart, her love, her comfort, her time and everything that came with it.

He broke that, didn't he?

The bell rang and the class got up to leave and go to their next class while he went down to the room he met with the school's therapist. Mikael had a lot to get off his chest and to discuss with them, he felt comfortable talking about this with them as they had a policy of not informing anyone of what he said unless they felt that he was a harm to himself or others.

Which he wasn't.

Mikael rapped his knuckles on the door and opened it when given the all clear to come in. The therapist greeted him and told him to take a seat, he did and placed his backpack by his feet.

The therapist began first. "How are you feeling, today, Mikael?"

"Can we skip the small talk and formalities, please? I'd like to talk about my parents," He wasn't this forward but he remembered the manners that his mother taught him.

The therapist leant back and motioned for him to continue. "Go ahead, Mikael, let's talk about your parents. You said that you've never met your father,"

"And my mother never talked about him and I never asked," Mikael added.

He spoke in the past tense and the therapist picked up on that quickly. "What changed?"

"I betrayed my mother and looked for my father by myself," He admitted to someone other than himself.

The therapist lifted his brows at that statement. "That couldn't have been easy,"

He nodded. "It took time but…I found him," Mikael paused before adding something vital. "In person."

"And what happened with your first meeting with your father?"

Mikael thought on it, the exchange he had with Shadow was a short and quick one but filled with so much…he wasn't sure what the word was. "He didn't know he had a kid,"

"That must have been a shock,"

_For him or for me?_

Mikael nodded and sighed, "I left not too soon after he realised the truth and I went straight home,"

The therapist looked concerned for him. "Do you realise the potential danger you could have put yourself in with no knowing who exactly this man was?"

"I was in a police station, I think I was pretty safe, and my bus stop was around the corner,"

His eyes narrowed at the young boy. "You were in a police station?"

"He's a police detective…the one that was on TV for solving those arson murders two or so weeks ago,"

The therapist wrote this down. "You said you felt you betrayed your mother, why?"

"Because I lied to her, I looked through her things…I went looking for him without asking or telling her and now I'm in this, I don't know, pit of guilt?" Mikael bit his bottom lip, staring down at his lap.

How could she ever forgive him?

* * *

Shadow found her current home and work address, he was driving to her house now, his hand with a tight grip on his steering wheel. He thought of her constantly over the weekend, he thought of his son and he pulled out his old high school photos and yearbooks.

He found memories of her everywhere in them. He remembered seeing her walk down the hall in that cheerleading uniform that secretly drove him crazy on his first day at school. He thought the worst of her in the beginning, he put her immediately in the 'stupid, shallow, bitchy girl' box and tried to ignore the way she waved and smiled at him for the first time.

The next memory of them being put in partners for a science project and in the very first minute of that partnership she obliterated every stereotype he placed on her. She wasn't stupid, she knew her stuff and was very smart. She wasn't shallow, she cared him and what he had to say, took it into consideration and worked it flawlessly into their project.

They never separated after that first project and he couldn't pinpoint an exact date of when they started dating but he couldn't believe it when it first happened. She would give him sweet words of encouragement, she would give him gentle touches that blurred the line of friendship and when her soft lips pressed against his one day after school on a hot day.

He told her to never stop doing that and she said she wouldn't.

They dated all throughout high school, went on dates, he even went to those footballs games he hates just to see her in that uniform of hers. On his 19th birthday, she gave him something that was…mind blowing. She gave him _her_. For the very first time and in those fiery, passionate and euphoria filled moments they whispered 'I love you's' to each other.

It was perfection.

She was perfection.

He never wanted to let her go.

In those photos there was a small cubed velvet box that he never got to give to her. She slowly stopped answering his calls and messages, and then her father took her away and moved.

The last ever words he heard from her…

_I wish I could tell you…_

_Tell me what? Kiera, what's happening?_

_I love you, Shadow, and I always will…_

_Kiera, please, don't go…please, come back. Come back to me. I love you._

A dial tone and then she was gone.

He never knew why but he has a good idea now.

Shadow parked the car outside her house. He got out and looked at it, it wasn't at all like he pictured for their future together. She deserved so much more than…a 'work in progress' shack.

He gathered his strength and pushed through the gate up to the house. He knocked on the door with no answer. He knocked again, no answer. Then again and still nothing. She wasn't here…

She was working.

At that pathetic diner.

They were supposed to get married, live in a beautiful home, him as a police officer and her as a high calibre artist he knew she would always become as their home was filled with the sound the pitter patter of their children.

It all went _wrong_.

Shadow got back into his car and drove straight to the diner.


	6. Oh, Take Me Back to the Start

Kiera had finished her shift at the diner, she smiled at Mina as she grabbed her coat and put it on. "Don't let the place fall apart without me,"

Mina rolled her eyes, folding a napkin in her hand absentmindedly. "Yeah, yeah, you take that tush of yours home and relax, you work too much,"

"I might as well be manager at this point," Kiera mused as she got her bag from the table.

She laughed, "You'd do a better job at it then you-know-who as well," Mina smirked as she earned a look from her.

"See you tomorrow, Mina." Kiera smiled, shaking her head and headed out the back of the diner and treaded through the car park, not paying much attention to her surroundings other than the trip to her car.

She heard footsteps but assumed it was just a customer going into the diner, but they stopped near her and a voice, she hadn't heard for years and years. "Kiera." He spoke her name and it was just a flood of memories surging through her, nearly bringing her to her knees.

Tears pricked her eyes when she looked at him. "Shadow." She said but it was a whisper, like she hadn't spoken his name out loud in god knows how long as she missed it, she missed him with every ounce of her being.

Did he get taller? God, he was always tall and lean but now he had broad shoulders, and one would assume built muscle underneath in that white creased dress shirt that fit him so good. Tall, dark and handsome, her type and he was hers. He's always been hers from the first second she saw him in high school, and she was his, she used to say that to him, reaffirm that she is his girl for on some days he didn't seem to believe it.

He hid it well, but she could always tell when he was sad, his eyes always gave him away. "I have a son?"

She couldn't say it so she nodded but there is only one thing she could say. "I'm sorry."

"Please, help me understand, tell me why you left me," He pleaded to her, he needed to know why his world split into two.

Kiera looked at her feet, gathering courage before meeting the eyes he shares with their son. "Weeks before… 'that' happened, I wasn't feeling well at all then I realised it had been over a month and a half since my last period so I took a test,"

He didn't interrupt her and took in every word she said. "It was…positive, you got me pregnant but then my father came in. He saw it, he said many things along the lines of 'how could you be so irresponsible', 'you ruined your life' and 'what were you thinking' but as he was planning to whisk me away, away from you, I just…let him. I was just in shock and frozen that I didn't fight him…I did what he told me,"

She let out a whimper and rubbed the escaping tears from her eyes, "I'm so sorry, Shadow," she did it, she finally told him the truth and she had no idea what would happen next with her, him and Mikael. It was all so confusing and complicated to contemplate.

Shadow walked closer to her and cupped her soft, warm cheeks, their faces centimetres apart and it felt like he was in high school again, sneaking into an empty classroom to touch and kiss her senseless. Her fingers wrapped gently around his wrist and her soft touch sent him, he covered her lips with his own and he had her again.

She kissed him back and she melted into him, it felt so good to kiss him again. She missed him so much, there was nobody else she wanted but him, but she was so scared of being pregnant at eighteen that she did what her father asked of her and ran away from him.

She broke his heart and broke her own in the process.

He kissed her again and again like she'd go away in an instant but she wouldn't, she was here and kissing him too, he hated pulling away from kissing her, he gazed down at her. "I hate that you went through all of that alone…for so long," he leant and rested his forehead against hers.

"I want you and I want our son together with me. How it was supposed to be, please, tell me you want that too," He held her for what seemed like forever.

Tell me that you want me too.

Kiera nodded, god, she wanted that. She wanted him. She wanted a nice home for her and Mikael in a safe neighbourhood, she wanted Shadow…she wanted a husband and more children, she wondered if he wanted that too. She wanted to feel happy and whole. "I do, but, Mikael…our son, he doesn't know about you,"

"He does, he found me a couple days ago,"

Kiera blinked. "What?"

His brow furrowed. "He found me at work, but he ran when he told me about you being his mother,"

"Oh my god," She paused as she imagined Mikael doing just that, "I need to go home, I need to talk to him," She pulled away from him, running her fingers through her hair and walks to her car.

Shadow followed her and grasped her hand. "Hey, let me come with you…we need to do this,"

Together.

She nodded, figured that he took his own car here. "Okay, follow my car home." He nodded and left her to go his own ride.

* * *

Mikael had finished school with more homework weighing down his bag, he had enough to deal with in his mind and at home, the work seemed overkill but it had to he done. He thought of his mother, he always thinks of her, he just wanted her to hold him and tell him that everything is going to be okay, that she forgives him and that they'll make it through this together.

He lied. She lied about and to his father. Perhaps, they could forgive each other.

What was he trying to accomplish by doing this? He found his father by rooting around in his mothers things, blatantly told him he had a son he didn't know about, ran away with his tail tucked between his legs and told his therapist about it.

It's a mess.

He's a mess, and it's just going to get worse because his dad is literally the best detective in Mobius and he will find them. He told him his full name, he was an idiot.

An idiot with a heart apparently.

He means well but these things tend to blow up in his face. He tries his best but things...don't go too right that often so he stopped trying and kept his head down.

He reached his house and saw his mothers car in the driveway and another that he hasn't seen before. He wondered if she had a friend from work over, it's a rare occurrence if that happens but it's a nice occasion when it does.

Mikael turned the key and entered his house, closing the door behind him, he dropped his bag by the stairs and walked into the living room expecting to see his mother with Mina or even Fiona from the diner.

He didn't expect this, well, he knew it would happen sooner or later, he didn't think it would be this soon.

Shadow.

He was here. He was in his living room, sat on the sofa beside his mother with a mug of coffee or tea in his hand like he's always been there. He quickly glanced at his mother and he couldn't describe the look in her eyes.

Was it sadness? Disappointment? Did she understand?

"H-Hi..." Mikael stuttered out awkwardly, he didn't even know how to act.

Kiera leaned forward a little to him with a sad, kind smile. "Sit down, would you, sweetheart? Please?" He nodded and sat down in her reading chair not that far from where they sat on the couch.

She bit her bottom lip nervously. "Mikael, it's okay, I won't get mad, I just want to know what you did... to find your father,"

Mikael's eyes flickered to Shadow then back at his mother, he gulped. "I've been thinking of why I didn't have a dad for the past year or so, all the other kids in my year have one, I just wondered why I didn't..."

He could practically see the motherly maternal instincts kick in behind her eyes. "Did they tease or bully you about not having a dad?"

Mikael shook his head and Shadow relaxed a bit, he didn't like the thought or picture of his son being bullied in any sort of capacity. "It's kind of why I started seeing the school therapist person, to help me sort out what I'm feeling and why," he confessed.

"Why didn't you ask me, Mikael?" Her voice was soft but there was sadness. She wondered why he didn't confide in her, she is his mother, and he's been feeling this way for so long and didn't say one peep to her.

He shuffled his feet. "You'd get sad and cry when you think about him, and I didn't want to make you cry more,"

Shadow grasped and held her hand, she squeezed it in comfort.

Tears pricked her eyes as she looked on at her son who was too afraid to hurt her by asking about his father that he went searching by himself. "Sweetheart, you still should have asked me even if it would upset me because it was upsetting you. I'm your mother, I'm supposed to protect you. Not the other way around."

"I'm sorry, please, forgive me. I'm so sorry," His own eyes began to water.

Shadow cleared his throat, gaining his attention, "There is nothing to forgive, Mikael." He looked at his father and then back at his mother.

He confessed the rest of what he did to find Shadow. The yearbooks, the photos and the Google searches at the library, the trip into the city and meeting Shadow.

Kiera didn't interrupt him for a second, she just listened to every single thing he did. Mikael held his breath as he asked. "What happens now? As much as I want a legit happy ending, I'm not sure what to do..."

"I'm not happy you lied to me-"

Mikael interrupted her. "You lied to him!"

"That's different!"

Shadow chucked. "What happens next is... we spend more time together. I want to be your father, and..." he looked at Kiera. He wanted to say more to her, tell her what he wants with her and their son.

"And?" Mikael asked.

He looked at his son. "It will take time and a whole lot of effort from all three of us."

Mikael tried to hide his excitement. "I'm willing to try," he looked at his mother.

She took a deep breath. "We'll take it slow and see a professional, do this properly." They all agreed. Mikael was happy that everything was out in the open and something was going to come out of it but there were still things left unsaid between his mother and his father.

He saw the way he comforted her, held her hand, spoke to her softly with that look in his eyes. If he knew any better he would think his father was still in love with his mother but that's just childish wishes, isn't it?


End file.
